The Thing That Changed My Life for The Better...
Unfortunately, bad things happen to people all the time. Maybe they get in an accident, they are diagnosed with an illness, lose their home, get laid off, or lose a loved one. Life can seem really unfair sometimes, especially if your list of things "not going as planned" continues to add up. It's easy to feel like the walls of life are caving in on you and giving up is the only answer.
When my dad passed away, I could have let that ruin my life. It was easy to feel pain and let it be a reason why my life was going to be so hard. Why I couldn't get ahead, why I am not worthy of love or why I am broken. Of course, at first, I felt sorry for myself. No dad to have around? Who's going to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day? etc. But luckily this didn't last long. Because I thought, where would being a victim of life get me? If I were to continue feeling sorry for myself it would have made it hard for me to have strong connections with others, produce good work and build a happy life (which I really wanted).
So many people let life trample them and take them through the mud. They give life the reins rather than them taking life by the reins (yes, I had to make a horse-related metaphor). What I mean by this is that they let life happen TO them not FOR THEM and any challenges they are presented with becomes unfair and unkind and makes their life hard. When you look at life in terms of it trying to destroy you - that's what will end up happening. But if you look at life through a lens where it is constantly giving you opportunities to learn and grow, life can be more of a blessing than a curse.
My life completely changed when I learned that I am in control of how I react to a situation, and how I view the world and others around me. Sure, sad things happen, things that break my heart, or anger me happen but instead of letting this ruin my life, how can I grow from this? Life is not out to get me and as soon as I started believing that, my life become so much more peaceful. I am responsible for my life. No one else. It is my fault if I react to a situation negatively and let it derail me. For the example with my dad, I used this heartbreak to serve me. I let it teach me valuable lessons like that life is short and love is important and being a light to others matters. In doing so, I can also honor my dad the best that I can. Because, what a shame it would have been for him to check in on me after his passing and see me wasting my time on this earth feeling sorry for myself.
I am not here to say that feelings of defeat, sadness, etc are not valid - because they are. We can't suppress our emotions because that will contribute to disease in the body and has the potential to ruin relationships with others. We need to feel all the feels but then let go of them if they are not serving us and move on!
In my coaching practice, what I have learned is that most people don't realize that they are responsible for their thoughts and beliefs and that they have the power to change their feelings and perspectives. That's why it's so fulfilling when my clients learn how to do this in my Flourish Forward Method program. Once we bring awareness to their thinking and replace the beliefs that limit them, with ones that empower them, they can actually start feeling better in their body and make changes long term.
Look at life as a fun game. You get to level up with every challenge that you face. Each challenge you overcome is a battle you won, adding in tools and more "life" to help you combat the next challenge you face.
I want you to know that if there is something in your life that feels not right, unfair or you know isn't serving you... you have the power to change it.